


Castiel x Reader One Shots

by faith-in-dean (queenxfhell)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Human Castiel, Human!Castiel - Freeform, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Reader-Insert, Smut, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 07:10:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12249489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenxfhell/pseuds/faith-in-dean
Summary: This is a collection of Castiel x Reader One Shots that were originally posted to my Tumblr. You will find smut, fluff and angst in here.





	1. A New Way Of Studying (Smut)

**Author's Note:**

> The first stories were written two years ago. The writing has gotten better throughout the time.

It was a late Sunday afternoon and you did anything but study. Tomorrow you would write a huge exam in History. You knew how important this exam was and how much you had to study for it but nevertheless you didn’t find any motivation to look at your notes and start remembering them.  
Instead you were hopping around your apartment, singing and dancing.  
If you got tired you would simply collapse on your couch and nap for a good one to two hours. If you got hungry you took a look at the cookbook, Sam gave you when you moved into your apartment.  
The boys decided it was better for you and your grades if you were separated from them for a while, while you were still working on your degree. They only distracted you and you knew it.  
But who said you weren’t distracting yourself, when you were on your own?

Sighing you sat down on your desk and opened your notes. You read through them but still found yourself not concentrating a little bit. While chewing on a marker, to mark all the important facts, you tried to get at least a few things into your brain but you failed.  
Sighing you threw the marker onto your desk and leant back into your chair.  
For quite some time you were thinking about a solution to your problem until you got the great idea.  
You could call Cas and ask him to help you.  
Since you knew that Castiel had a mobile phone, you decided to just call him on that one instead of praying to him.

So you grabbed your phone and dialled his number. It was ringing three times until he finally picked up.

“Hello (YN).” His dark voice came through the phone.

“Hey Cas, can you please help me out? I’m lost.” You sighed and rubbed your hand over your face. Just when you opened your eyes you saw Castiel standing right in front of you.

“This does not look like you are lost.” Castiel tilted his head in confusion. You sighed in response first and held your phone as far away from your ear as you could because it was pure pain since you were both in the same room. So you hung up and threw your phone onto your nightstand.

“I have this exam tomorrow and it’s really important but I just can’t concentrate on studying or even get anything in my head.” You pouted and looked at the angel in front of you.

He got himself a chair and placed it next to your chair, where both of you now sat down.

“Let me look at it.” Castiel said and you showed him your notes. It took a while until he read through everything but then he started explaining things to you and trying to tell you good connections how you could remember a few things better. 

About an hour went by and you were still not done yet but again you couldn’t concentrate on anything. Instead now you were looking, almost staring at Castiel. His face was only a few inches away from you and you could see every detail on his face. You saw his ocean blue eyes, that were more beautiful than any eyes you had ever seen. You saw his light stubble forming, wondering if it was scratchy. You saw those small pink lips, looking so soft. Wondering if they also felt that soft.  
You have been crushing on Castiel for a while but you would’ve never had admitted it. Since he was an angel and more likely to take care of Dean, you didn’t even think of having a chance with him.

“(YN), you really need to focus on this. Not on me.” Castiel suddenly ripped you out of your thoughts and you felt heat rushing through your cheeks. By now you were probably red like a tomato. You knew Castiel was able to read minds and right now he probably just read yours.

Both of you were staring into each other’s eyes. Not saying a thing. You thought it was now or never. Even if it was your biggest mistake, you were willing to do it. Just to find out if those soft pink lips were feeling just as you thought. Softly you leaned in and kissed Castiel. For a moment you rested your lips on his until he returned your kiss. His soft and sweet lips were brushing against yours and you could feel the butterflies flying through your stomach. As both of you deepened the kiss, Cas pulled you on his lap. You were straddling your legs on each side of him and wrapped your arms around his neck.  
His tongue licked across your bottom lip and you opened your mouth , making him enter your mouth. Castiel’s tongue explored every inch of your mouth, until he moved his hands underneath your ass and picked you up. He turned around and walked over to your bed, putting you down gently and crawling on top of you.

“Promise me to focus and keep on studying afterwards.” He whispered, his lips brushing over yours.

“I promise.” Your voice was almost unable to be heard as you stared right into his eyes. He nodded and kissed you again. Even softer this time. However you felt pleasure rising through your whole body. As Castiel seemed to notice, he slowly pulled off your shirt and threw it onto the ground. He started kissing his way downwards to your already exposed breasts. You never cared to wear bra’s when you were on your own on Sunday’s. He kissed one of your breasts and started licking around your nipple as one of his hands took in your other breast, kneading it. Quiet moans escaped your mouth while Castiel did you. Normally you always got really nervous when boys touched you like this. Or started making intentions on going further than kissing.  
After all you were still a virgin and you really wanted to wait for the right person.

“You are a virgin?” Castiel suddenly asked you, stopping all of his movements. Of course he heard your thoughts. You bit your lip nervously and nodded shyly.

“I will be careful. In case you even want his.” His ocean blue eyes bored into your (Y/E/C) ones.

“Yes I want this.” You whispered smiling. Castiel only nodded and now made his way down to your shorts. He gripped them hem and pulled them down slowly, all along with your panties. He trailed kisses up your whole body until he reached your lips and stared kissing you again. His thumb gently brushed against your clit and soon after two of his fingers entered your already wet pussy. It was weird getting used to this feeling but it felt good.  
Castiel though, still wore way too much clothes. So you started undressing him. He didn’t wear his trench coat so it was easier for you to get him undressed faster. Castiel helped you taking off his pants and then split your legs, laying down between them.

“Do you have protection?” You stammered, biting your lip nervously.

“I’ve got my angel blade.” Castiel tilted his head in confusion.

“Not that kind of protection, Cas. Actually this was just in case..” You sighed. How could he be so inexperienced, while being around the Winchester’s. Then Castiel finally seemed to realise what you were trying to say.

“This should not be possible anyways. Are you sure you want this?” Castiel asked once more, making sure you were comfortable with this. You only nodded ‘yes’ in response and once again he started kissing you, rubbing his erection against your sex. Soon after you felt his tip slowly entering you, resting for a moment. Then he slowly started pushing in deeper, filling you completely.  
You bit your lip at the sting you felt in your stomach, when he still rested until you told him to go on. As you got used to him and his length you only nodded.  
Castiel leant down to kiss you again and slowly started thrusting in and out. He was gentle and didn’t rush anything. He was just as soft as you imagined him to be.  
After quite some time you felt your high reaching in and only at this point, Castiel started thrusting faster until you reached your orgasm and moaned out his name. His orgasm came in soon after and he dropped down next to you.

“But now let’s get back to study.” He smiled after both of you relaxed again.  
_________

Two weeks have gone by since you wrote your exam and actually you thought you did a great job. Today was the day you finally got back your exam.

“Congratulations (YN), you received the best grade in this class.” Your teacher said and you looked at her in disbelieve. Fast you turned around to see that you not only seemed to have the best grade in class but also the best grade in total. You jumped up and cheered in happiness and couldn’t wait till the class was over.

You didn’t even think about using the bus. You just straight jogged to the bunker, knocking against the door, being a little too excited. A confused Sam opened the door.

“Uh is everything alright?” He asked and raised his eyebrow.

“Is Castiel here?” You asked still being way too excited.

“In the library. We’re planning on our next hunt.” Sam stepped aside, making you rush in and to the library. When you entered Castiel and Dean’s heads rose up looking at you. You jumped into Castiel’s arms and squealed. “I’ve got the best grade in class on my exam!” You said happily, showing him the paper.

“That is great!” A huge smile formed on Cas’ face and you couldn’t help but crash your lips onto his.

“I should help you out more often, hm?” Castiel asked smiling, after he pulled back and you only nodded.

“Well, now you’ve got some explaining to do.” Dean pointed between the two of you, talking about the kiss.


	2. The Bright Blue Eyes

“Leave and never come back!” You yelled as you pushed your, now, ex-boyfriend out of your apartment. You caught him with another girl in your own bedroom. After you slammed the door shut, you locked it and slid down the door with your back facing it. Waterfalls of tears escaped your eyes.  
After everything he did this? You couldn’t believe it. He was the actual reason you moved out of the bunker, away from Sam and Dean so he would be okay with it. He was always weird around Sam and Dean and nearly pushed you to move out. But you were head over heels in love with him.  
Your biggest mistake apparently.

Since it was your ex-boyfriends and your apartment you just decided to pack all your stuff and leave. No way you were going to stay here any longer. Your sight was blurry from all the tears but the only thing you cared about was to get out of here asap. When you made sure you had everything, you rushed outside to your car, leaving the key to the apartment behind.

You wiped away the tears and drove to a motel a little out of town so you knew he couldn’t find you. He was too stupid to find you anyways. As you entered your room, you threw your bag to the ground and threw yourself face first onto the bed. Again you started crying your eyes out. After everything you did for him, he just treated you like this. While you were busy crying, you didn’t notice the flap of wings behind you.

“(YN) are you okay?” You heard the well know voice of the black haired angel behind you which caused you to fall out of your bed in shock.

“Dammit Cas.” You groaned and sat up. Castiel rushed over to you and helped you up.

“I am sorry (YN). I did not mean to make you fall.” His eyes met yours and you couldn’t even define them.

“It’s fine. What are you doing here anyways?” You wiped your tears away and sighed. You must look horrible.

“I felt that there is something wrong and I wanted to check if you are doing okay.” Castiel answered just awkwardly standing in front of you.

“Well nothing is okay. My fucking boyfriend cheated on me and I left him. I can’t believe he did this after he made me leave you all.” Again you started crying. You would’ve loved if Castiel would just wrap his arms around you but you knew he wasn’t going to do that.

“This is not nice. How can I help you?” He tilted his head a little. His well-known head tilt.

“If you’d bring me some ice-cream, chocolate and a few Disney movies, I’d be good.” You told him.

“Okay. Where can I get this?” Castiel asked not sure about this.

“In a supermarket. Go get some and I will refresh myself a little.” Just a moment after you said this, he disappeared. Slowly you dragged yourself from the bed and made your way up to the bathroom.   
The view of yourself in the mirror was horrible. Your eyes were red and swollen from crying. It wouldn’t surprise you if Castiel wouldn’t come back. You looked horrible you didn’t even have to deny it. You splashed some water into your face to make your eyes hurt a little less.

As you left the bathroom Castiel was already back. Ice-cream, chocolate and Disney movies in his hands. A smile spread across your face as you saw him.

“I like to see you smile.” Castiel stated while he scanned your body. You were now only dressed in some shorts and a tank top since it would be more comfortable to watch movies with.

“Thank you.” You felt yourself blush a little and pulled your laptop out of your bag.

“But I don’t understand. How is this going to make you feel better?” The confusion was clear to be heard.

“You know there’s this thing about humans. Especially women. When we are heartbroken or something we really like to eat any shit we can get, cuddle and watch some movies. Even though I will have to cross out that cuddle part.” You explained and took the movies out of Castiel’s hand. Putting ‘The lion king’ into your laptop first. Then you grabbed the ice-cream and chocolate and sat onto your bed again.

“Thank you for getting these, Cas. But you don’t have to stay any longer if you don’t want to. I’m sure Sam and Dean need your help.” You smiled a little. You didn’t want Castiel to leave yet though.  
You started the movie and started eating the ice-cream but Castiel was still standing in your room.

“I would like to fulfil your wish to cuddle, if you don’t mind.” Castiel said as you glanced at him.

“Of course I don’t mind.” You smiled and he sat down next to you. You were cuddling up against him and there was a surprisingly warmth covering you.   
You couldn’t deny it. The crush you had on Castiel, before you left with your boyfriend, came back. Soon you felt your eyes becoming tired and soon you were asleep. You were asleep in the arms of the angel you once fell in love with.

Actually you didn’t even expect Castiel to be there when you woke up but you were more than happy to see that he was still with you.

“Good morning.” You whispered as you stared straight into his blue eyes.

“Hey.” He returned a smile. But the stare didn’t stop just then. Neither him nor you thought about looking anywhere else. You couldn’t help but feel the urge to press your lips against his.

“Cas? Can I try something?” You asked, biting your lips a little.

“Uh, sure.” He answered. Just then you leaned forward to kiss him. At first he didn’t do anything but then he returned the kiss and you couldn’t help but smile. It was just like you found your perfect match and your life depended on that kiss. You deepened the kiss and slowly slid onto Castiel’s lap. His arms wrapped around your waist but before you both did anything else, you pulled away.

“Sam and Dean would love to have you back in the bunker.” Castiel told you as his thumbs brushed over your waist.

“Then what are we waiting for?” You smiled and within a second you were back in the bunker with all of your stuff.


	3. See You In Heaven (Smut)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Angel!Reader in here!

“Come on Cassie, let’s play hide and seek!” You squealed as you saw your best friend.

“What is that? I thought we have to go to our angel training.” The black haired boy asked and tilted his head.

“Doesn’t matter. You close your eyes and count to thirty while I hide. Then you have to find me.” You explained jumping up and down.

“But aren’t we going to get in trouble if we do not attend the training.” Castiel glanced at you.

“Come on Castiel! Please! They won’t notice!” You begged and put on your puppy eyes and a pout. It surprised you how different angels could be. You were a happy, jumping around soul, while Castiel was always doubting everything, clueless, too pure for everything. It was hard convincing him to do things he usually wouldn’t do but if you put on your puppy face he would mostly listen.

“Okay, okay. Then I’ll count to thirty and you hide.” He said and closed his eyes. Before you ran away, you kissed his cheek and then searched for a place to hide. You found some bushes where he shouldn’t be able to see you. You heard him shout thirty and then watched him looking for you. It was cute how confused he was looking.

“(YN)?” He asked. His voice was filled with worry. It was nice to know there was actually someone that cared for you.

“There you are.” One of the older angels said and grabbed you out of the bushes. Another one grabbed Castiel.

“It is training time. Don’t you dare to betray our father in childish actions like these ones.” The one who grabbed you said.

“I have found you.” Castiel smiled a little before both of you got carried away.

~~~~

“There you are.” Castiel said out of breath as you turned around to face him.

“Is everything okay?” You glanced at the angel in front of you. He looked upset.

“I-I have to tell you something.” He stuttered. You noticed that he was upset. You were able to feel that. Even if angels shouldn’t feel like that.

“What is it Cas?” Your (Y/E/C) eyes met his blue eyes.

“I-I have to leave. I have to go on earth to save and protect some humans. I do not know if there is any opportunity for us to see each other anymore.” Castiel told you. At first you didn’t understand what he was saying but when you understood your mouth formed an O.

“Well… You have to do what the lord says. I understand that. Thank you for the time we spent together. Maybe we’ll see us again soon.” You smiled at him. Castiel didn’t reply though he only disappeared. So that was your best friend. The angel you grew up with and now you were separated. Centuries you have spent together and now the lord took him away. Maybe it was meant to be.

~~~

Both Castiel and you were in your ‘teenage-phase’ but while Castiel was still closed up and it seemed like he was as stiff as a poker, you were a rebel. You were in trouble a lot and were close to lose your grace for multiple times but somehow you always managed to get away with the stuff you did.

“Cas?” You asked while putting some nail polish on.

“Yes?” The blue eyed angel asked while he looked at you.

“Have you ever kissed someone?” Now you were looking up from your nails. You saw how his cheeks blushed and his eyes met the ground. He only shook his head 'no’. A smile spread across your face and you moved closer to Cas, your hand now resting on his cheek. Your thumb was brushing it gently until his eyes met yours and you pulled him to your face to kiss him. Castiel didn’t do anything. He didn’t move, completely surprised by your action.

“Now we both had our first kiss.” You grinned widely as you pulled back and went back to putting nail polish onto your nails. You only heard a flap and Castiel was gone but you couldn’t help smiling to yourself.

~~~

Metatron called for you. You weren’t sure how this happened but somehow he got the lead of the things happening in heaven. You haven’t seen Cas in what felt like ages and you didn’t know if he knew what was going on in heaven. You only heard that Castiel once lost his grace and was human for about a month. But from what you heard he regained his Grace. You were actually really glad he did. But still you didn’t know where he was or what he was doing.

“You called for me?” You asked as you walked into Metatron’s office.

“Yes. Take a seat.” He smiled innocently. For a moment you thought about it but why shouldn’t you? So you sat down but right in that moment there were bonds around your wrists. You tried to get out of them but failed. Your head shot up as you glanced at Metatron with furrowed brows.

“You are too naive, (YN). But now you are going to pay for all the times you betrayed our father. Or me.” With one move his angel blade was pulled out. He slit your throat and captured your grace in a small jar. You felt like choking when your grace left you completely until he healed the wound.

“Good luck. Let’s bet that you aren’t even going to make it a day down there.” And within a moment your body met a cold ground. There was a feeling rushing through your body you couldn’t explain. Totally confused you got onto your feet and scanned your surroundings. There was nothing than an endless road and trees. You tried to snap and zap you somewhere but you couldn’t. So there was only one way. You had to walk until you found something. Even though you didn’t know what to look for.

It has probably taken hours until you reached some place with a few humans around. Your legs felt weak and there was a weird feeling inside of your throat and stomach. Did humans always feel like this? If yes it was really weird. People were looking at you with weird faces. What was happening? You saw people entering shops, coming out with liquid things or something they were stuffing into their mouths. What was that for? Earth was a weird place and you never thought your first experience with earth would be like that.

“(YN)?” You heard someone say behind you and you turned around only to face Castiel after all the years you haven’t seen him.

“Castiel.” You breathed out not believing your eyes.

“Who is that?” A gruffly voice came from behind Castiel. It was a quite taller man than Castiel, with spiky blonde hair. A much taller man with longer brown hair followed him.

“This is (YN). She is an angel. Just like me. We grew up together.” Castiel explained.

“Yeah about that… I’ve lost my grace Castiel. I just landed here and I don’t know what all of this is. I have never been here before and the feelings inside of me are scaring me.” You didn’t realise you sounded that desperate. Castiel stepped towards you and it was like he stared into your soul. He grabbed his angel blade and took your arms, cutting it. Blood was dripping out and you felt a sharp sting. It burned. But right after Castiel saw it he healed you. The cut and the pain was gone again.

“Who did this to you?” Castiel asked, his eyes boring into yours.

“Metatron. He took over heaven.” You told him. Castiel didn’t reply but turned around to face the two men standing behind him.

“Sam, Dean. Can we please take her to the bunker? She is the safest there until we figure something out. I promise she will not cause any trouble. I will show her how to be a human, you do not have to bother with that.” Other times you would’ve always stood up for Castiel but not it was him standing up for you and you couldn’t be more grateful.

“Fine. But you’ll take care of her. Then let’s head to the bunker.” The smaller one said. You knew both of their names but not who was who.

“Get to the Impala, I will just get a bottle of water and something to eat. I bet she’s starving and almost dehydrating.” The tall one said.

“Thank you, Sam.” Castiel nodded. Now you knew who was who but just in a second they brought you to a black car. It was beautiful.

“Don’t you dare spill anything back in there or ruin the seats in any way.” Dean hissed when Sam was back and all four of you sat down into the Impala. You only nodded though and took the bottle. You were confused by what this was.

“You have to drink this. Let me show you.” Castiel said and took the bottle. He opened it and put the opening onto his mouth and apparently drinking something. Then he handed the bottle towards you and you did the same, just that you downed the whole bottle.

“My throat feels better again.” You said as you closed the bottle.

“That’s what human call thirsty. They need to drink to stay hydrated. And this you have to eat. It is the same like drinking just that you have to take a bite and chew it until you can swallow it.” Castiel explained and pointed to something Sam brought you. He said it was a burger. Whatever a burger was. So you unwrapped it and took a bite. You noticed how Dean was watching you while you ate. A moan escaped your lips as you swallowed the first bite.

“Cas please tell her no to do that when she’s around guys and not doing you know what.” Dean groaned. Your eyes met Castiel’s in confusion.

“You can’t moan around men. Some of them find interest in that but this interest should only be shared with the one you love.” Castiel explained and you only nodded continuing to eat the burger.

Castiel showed you were to stay when you reached the bunker. He showed you all the important rooms you needed as a human.

“You might want to go to the toilet. You drank a lot and uh.. sometimes you have to release it.. You uh… just have to uh… Pull your pants and underwear down and sit onto the toilet and uh… everything will happen on its own. When you finished you flush the toilet, get dressed again and wash your hands.” Castiel’s cheeks were red as he explained the whole process to you but you nodded and went into the bathroom to do as he said.

After a minute you came out of the bathroom again and Castiel was still waiting for you. But he took you into the bathroom once again. He was walking to something weird.

“As a human you have to shower. Otherwise you will smell really bad. For this you take off all your clothes and step under the shower. You can turn on the water before to see if it is too cold or too hot. Most of the human prefer taking a warm shower. You take the soap and rub it onto your body and wash it off with the water afterwards. Then you dry yourself with a towel and put on your clothes again. But now you are probably tired from all the walking. That means you have to sleep. Come on.” With one snap both of you were in your bedroom. But you weren’t wearing what you wore before anymore. You were in a huge shirt and some plaid pants. Those clothes were comfortable though. You laid down into the bed and Castiel tucked you in the blanket that was laying next to you. Your eyes became heavier until they closed and you drifted off to sleep.

~~~

It has been two months since you lost your grace. Castiel tried everything to get your grace back and was in danger multiple times while you had to sit there and watch because it was too risky for you to help him out. Sam and Dean didn’t want to make you a hunter even though it was stupid. You were an angel before you dropped down to earth so there was nearly nothing you didn’t know. But they simply said it would be too dangerous. So you were staying in the bunker all day. Since you’ve been attacked by a few angels the brothers and Castiel took more care of you than ever. Now that you were human you finally realised your feelings towards Castiel. And now that you were sure about them, you were scared to regain your grace. You would have to go back to heaven because there was no need for you to be on earth. But one day that moment would come and unfortunately this day was today.

“(YN).” Castiel said and when you turned around you saw that he held the jar where your grace was kept in. You wanted to smile but you couldn’t. Just as Cas wanted to open the jar for you and handed it to you. You regained your grace again, the wings of you spreading across the room before disappearing again.

“Before I return to heaven, I want to teach something to you. Love.” You said as you walked over to Castiel and grabbed the collar of his trench coat, pulling him down to kiss him. At first he didn’t do anything. Just like at your first kiss but a few moments later his lips began moving against yours.   
Soon the kiss was filled with passion and want. You pushed the trench coat off of his shoulders and started unbuttoning his shirt. Castiel’s hands were on your waist, holding you close while kissing you. Since you were human, you wore normal clothes, no formal ones, which meant Castiel had a much harder job at undressing you. While Castiel was only wearing his pants anymore you were still completely dressed. So you took his hands into yours and put them onto the hem of your shirt.

“Pull it up.” You whispered against his lips. He did as you said and soon your shirt was gone. Castiel’s hands then moved down to your ass. He lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. Slowly Castiel carried you to your bed and laid you down, climbing on top of you.

“I don’t know what to do from here.” Castiel bit his lip nervously.

“Don’t worry. I’ll help you. I said I’d teach you, right?” You asked. Castiel only nodded and kissed you again. One of your hands grabbed one of his and guided it to your back, helping him unclasping your bra. He took it off all by himself. Castiel backed up from the kiss and glanced at your breasts. One he took in his hands and the other he started kissing. Goosebumps ran over your body as he continued kissing and touching you. As he noticed that you enjoyed it, he continued on kissing your boob and massaged it a little harder. His simple touch and his lips were enough to make you wet already. Slowly he moved downwards, his lips kissing every inch of your stomach until he reached the hem of your pants. He gripped your pants and started pulling them down along with your panties. Then he unbuttoned his pants and kicked off his shoes before taking off his pants and boxers before climbing on top of you again. You noticed that he was already hard and couldn’t help but smile.

“What do I do now?” Castiel asked and looked straight at you.

“Rub yourself against me, this will make me more wet and it’s easier for you to do the next step.” You smiled at him. He only nodded and started rubbing his length against your center. The way he slid over your clit made you moan out and as Castiel started to get the hang of it, his eyes were dark and filled with lust. Again he started kissing you but this time you felt his tip at your entrance, slowly pushing in. The sensation that filled your body, while he filled you up completely, was breathtaking. When he was all the way inside of you, he gave you time to adjust and when you bucked your hips into his, he started pulling his length out slowly and then pushing in faster again. He kept his pace like that for quite some time until he sped up his pace and thrust faster. While moving he made sure to kiss you as passionately as possible to show you all the feelings he had for you.

When you were alone with Dean, he told you a few things about Castiel. Things when he came to earth, when he saved his and his brother’s life, when he was human, when he disappeared because some creatures took over him, when he regained his grace. He told you how Castiel actually felt for you. How he could never spend a thought without thinking what you were doing up in heaven. If you found another friend and could have just as much fun as with Cas when he was by your side. Dean told you that when Castiel needed help from other angels, he often wished that you could’ve come to help but the lord would never send you down to earth to assist Castiel. Especially when Castiel was human he talked a lot about you. That was when Dean told him that this was love what he felt and not something strange. So that was what it took for angels to find out about how they feel for someone. You always knew there was a special bond between Castiel and you. Your friendship was something nobody could describe. Especially because you were angels. But since you were human you realised that there was more than just friendship between you.

Again Castiel sped up his pace and soon both of you reached your highs. Your sight went white while you felt your wings spread across the room. When you opened your eyes you saw that Castiel’s wings were also spread out. His black ones were touching your white ones and it made a shiver run down your spine. After he spilled his load inside of you and rode out both of your orgasms, Castiel pulled himself out of you. When both of your wings were gone, he dropped himself beside you and cupped your face in his hands. His soft lips were touching yours and you really never wanted to leave but you had to. So you snapped and both of you were dressed again. You were back in your formal clothes.

“The time we were able to spend was wonderful, Castiel. Thank you for that.” You smiled at him.

“I love you, (YN).” Castiel said. His eyes were sad because he knew what was coming.

“I love you, too Castiel. See you in heaven.” And with that you were zapped back to heaven and there were a few things you had to set right.


	4. Sex On Fire (Smut)

“Come on Cas, live a little. You won’t regret it and who knows maybe you’ll finally get laid.” Dean winked at Castiel as they sat in his Impala.

“I don’t know Dean.” Cas obviously wasn’t really happy about this. But he knew Dean wouldn’t just let him stay in the motel.

“Come on Sammy, tell him how much fun it’s going to be.” Dean grinned over to his brother.

“Well it’s true, Cas. You’re going to have fun. And you don’t have to worry about getting laid. Take your time.” Sam smiled but Castiel still wasn’t sure.

“But remember when I found a liquor store?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah you drank it, but don’t worry, we’ll watch out for ya.” Dean grinned.

“Uh.. Okay..” Castiel finally gave in and could see Dean making a small happy dance before continuing to drive to a bar in town, they had a case in. Dean said they would only go there to get some information but why did they want Cas to live then? He didn’t understand.

Dean pulled up at the parking lot of the bar and suddenly Cas wasn’t so sure to go with them again.

“Let’s go Cas. There’s no going back for you.” Dean grinned before he hopped out of the car. Sam did the same and after a few minutes Castiel followed them. All three of them entered the bar and loud music filled the room. When Castiel looked to the right he saw some weird guys singing some song. Not really sure what song he was singing.

“Karaoke night! Gonna be fun! Hey Cas, why don’t you sing something?” Dean joked around as he walked over to the bar to get some drinks.

“I don’t sing.” Castiel simply answered and followed him. They all sat down and ordered shots of whiskey, while enjoying the presented show.

A few beers later and Castiel still didn’t enjoy the stay very much. The people singing were awful and Dean and Sam simply made jokes about Cas finding some girl until Sam went outside to breath in some fresh air.

But then there was this girl. She walked on stage and there was something which couldn’t let Cas take his eyes away from her. The music started playing and when she started singing, her voice was angelic.

Now put your hands up   
Up in the club, we just broke up   
I’m doing my own little thing   
Decided to dip and now you wanna trip   
Cause another brother noticed me

Cas eyes followed every move of her lips until his eyes roamed her body. The way she danced was fascinating.

I’m up on him, he up on me   
Don’t pay him any attention   
Just cried my tears, for three good years   
Ya can’t be mad at me

The way she moved her hips made Cas shift in his seat. She was clearly the best performer he has seen tonight.

Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it   
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it   
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it   
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it   
Oh, oh, oh

Her eyes were roaming through the bar and Castiel could’ve sworn he saw her wink to him. There was this flirtatious grin on her face while she sang and danced. She knew exactly what she did.

I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips   
Got me tighter in my Dereon jeans   
Acting up, drink in my cup   
I can care less what you think 

I need no permission, did I mention   
Don’t pay him any attention   
Cause you had your turn and now you gonna learn   
What it really feels like to miss me

Some drunk guy joined her on the stage and danced close against her until he pushed him off the stage and the crowd cheered. She continued the song and Castiel could feel himself getting hotter. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the effect the girl had on him. When she ended the song the whole room cheered and she bowed down before leaving the stage. Castiel’s eyes followed every step of hers until she settled down. Then he finally turned to Dean.

“Dean? How do I talk to a woman?” Castiel asked. A wide grin spread across Dean’s face.

“Who?” Dean asked. Castiel pointed to the girl who just sat down a little closer to the bar.

“Good shot buddy. Well invite her for a drink, talk to her, flirt and if you notice she’s willing to do more, touch her, the rest will go easy.” Dean winked at Castiel and pressed some money into his hand.

“Go.” Dean grinned at pushed him into the direction of the girl. Slowly Castiel walked over to her and sat down next to her.

“Hey, can I pay your next round?” Castiel asked shyly. The (YHC) haired girl turned to look at Castiel with a smirk.

“Of course.” She grinned. Castiel nodded awkwardly not knowing what to say until the bartender came and he ordered two shots of whiskey first. Just like Dean always does.

“I noticed you watching me.” The girl suddenly said and Castiel could feel his cheeks burning.

“You are very attractive. And you did a great job singing. You’re a pure beauty.” Castiel spilled and blushed even harder at the realisation what he just said.

“Thank you. You’re very attractive as well.” The woman said and Castiel glanced over to her just to see her smirk.

“Name’s (YN), by the way.” She introduced herself.

“I am Castiel.” Cas smiled at her.

“Hey Cas, I hope it’s okay if I call you that, why don’t we continue this conversation in my motel room? I’m staying at the motel of this bar so not a long way.” She winked and Castiel only nodded. He got up and reached out his hand to (YN). She grabbed it and both of them made their way up to the exit. Castiel turned his head to face Dean, who only gave him a thumbs up and a smirk before they left the bar.  
_____

You had hoped that Castiel would talk to you. When your eyes met his bright blue ones while performing there was nothing else you could think about anymore. And now you were taking him into your hotel room. If that’s going to go well, you’d pat your shoulder afterwards.

“So, Cas. Tell me how comes you haven’t laid eyes on someone else already?” You asked in curiosity as you walked to your room, never losing your smirk though.

“There was no one as beautiful as you.” Castiel said and it gave you a shiver running down your spine. Fast you grabbed the keys to your room and unlocked it, pushing Castiel in. As you closed the door, you threw yourself at him. Your lips crashed onto his while wrapping your arms around his neck. Castiel waited for a moment until he returned the kiss and placed his hands onto your hips. He pulled you closer against his body and you were able to feel the bulge pressing against your stomach through his pants. Slowly you pushed him towards your bed, making him sit down.

“I think you deserve a private show.” You smirked as you put on Sex on fire by Kings of Leon on repeat. You started moving your body to the music while slowly taking your clothes off. Castiel bit onto his lips while watching you closely. You wore nothing more than your panties as you straddled Cas and kissed him passionately. Castiel’s hand wandered over your body until he grabbed your ass.

He was still wearing way too many clothes, so you started undressing him until he was only wearing his boxers. You knelt in front of the bed, grinning widely as you pulled down his boxer briefs and his length sprung free. As you removed the boxers completely you gripped his erection and jerked it a little bit before taking it into your mouth as far as you could, the rest of his length was covered by your hand massaging it while you started bobbing your head up and down. Moans escaped his lips as he tangled his fingers into your locks. You glanced at him through your lashes, leaving a smirk on your lips, as you saw his head was thrown back.

You continued your movements until his dick was twitching and you removed your hand and mouth from him. Castiel let out a groan as he glanced at you. You only grinned and took off your panties before straddling him again and lining his erection up at your entry. Slowly you lowered yourself down on him and his arms wrapped tight around you, closing every space possible while your lips crashed against each other once again.

When you adjusted to his length, you started rocking your hips back and forth, moaning against his lips as he tangled his fingers once more into your hair, pulling it gently. Heave breathing followed every time you separated your lips from each other to actually breath. You felt yourself getting close and started rocking your hips even faster. Your walls clenched around Cas’ dick as you came all around him. Castiel followed right after but it wasn’t over yet.

Castiel picked you up and laid you onto your back as both of you came down from your highs. His rough lips pressed against your pulse, sucking harshly as he pushed his length into you once again. He had a rough pace from the moment he started moving. Speeding up time after time, thrusting deeper and deeper, letting you moan louder and louder. Your second orgasm hit in moments after and you arched your back, pressing your body against Castiel’s even more. Castiel took a few more thrusts until he released his load once more inside of you until he pulled out and dropped next to you.

“This was awesome.” You breathed out when you were finally able to catch your breath again.

“I agree.” Castiel smiled widely.

“I think we could do this more often, don’t you think so?” You asked as you supported yourself on your elbow as you glanced at him. His eyes went wide and sparkled as he glanced at you.

“Really?” He asked.

“Really.” You smiled before pressing a kiss onto his lips.


	5. True Form (Smut)

The relationship between Cas and you developed more and more after all the time you spent together. The first day you met him, because of Dean, you already knew he was something special. For a long time the both of you have been good friends but for a few months you have finally found each other’s hearts.

The two of you were taking it slow. Castiel was afraid to move too fast and hurt you or do something you didn’t want to do. He always made sure you were doing good with whatever he did. And so it came the two of you never went further than a few kisses. But your want increased from time to time and you finally wanted to move a step further.

Dean of course knew about your frustration and always teased you about it, Castiel of course didn’t understand a thing which made it even more amusing for Dean.

Sighing you laid back onto your bed. Of course you didn’t want to rush Cas but you sure wanted more than just a few kisses with him. You heard a flap of wings and the mattress shifted a little as Cas laid down next to you.

“Hello,” he whispered and pressed a kiss onto your temple.

“Hey Cas,” you sighed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. You thought about answering with words or if you’d just try and go for it which sounded more appealing to you. With a quick move you straddled his hip and leant forward to kiss him. Your kiss was rough and wanting and Cas didn’t move at first. Sighing you grabbed his hands and placed them on your waist while starting to rub your clothed sex against his crotch. Slowly you kissed his neck, leaving marks there causing him to groan.

“(YN), I don’t know if I can stop if you keep doing this,” he groaned.

“Who said I want you to stop?” you breathed against his neck and within a second you were on your back, Castiel hovering on top of you.

“Are you sure about this, I don’t know if I can control myself,” his ocean blue eyes stared into yours.

“Yes Castiel, stop asking questions and start finally,” you groaned and with that Cas started kissing your neck, his hands slowly running down your upper body to grab your tank top. Slowly he pulled it over your head and the sound he made when he saw you weren’t wearing a bra was priceless. Slowly he planted kisses down to your breasts and sucked in one of your nipples while caressing the other breast with his hands.

His mouth did wonders on you and you were seriously asking yourself where he learned all of that. Quiet moans escaped your mouth when Cas started rocking his hips against yours.

“Cas,” you moaned and ran your fingers through his hair before moving your hands to his shoulders and shoving down his trench coat. He helped you taking off his trench coat and buttoned up shirt before slowly kissing down your stomach to your shorts. His fingers slipped under the hem and started dragging them down along with your panties slowly. After he took them off completely, he planted kisses up your legs until his soft lips kissed your clit, sucking it in every now and then. You moaned while he slowly ran his hands up and down your thighs.

“Cas,” you moaned as your pulled his hair softly.

“I need you, Cas,” you moaned and he got the message. Cas stood to take off his clothes and settled down between your legs. His length was pressing against your thigh and Cas slowly planted kisses from your chest up to your mouth.

“Do you really want this?” he asked once more.

“God, yes Cas,” you groaned and finally he slowly pushed into you. His length was stretching you while he filled you completely. Slowly he started moving while kissing you passionately. Slowly he picked up the pace, trying to be as careful as possible. Moans filled the room and in this moment there was nothing except you and Cas around.

But soon Cas’ thrusts became rougher and deeper until he started pounding into you. Your moans became louder and louder with each thrust.

“I’m gonna..” you couldn’t finish because your moans took your words away.

“Cum with me,” Cas groaned and just then your walls clenched around him as you came all around him. Cas soon followed and spilled his hot load in you but that wasn’t the only thing. His wings spreads across the whole room and his eyes were shining a bright blue. Also a white bright light surrounded the two of you, almost blending you and to be honest it scared you.

Castiel of course noticed and pulled out of you, laying down next to you.

“I’m sorry, I said I didn’t know if I can control it,” Castiel was quiet and ashamed.

“What was that?” you asked him confused.

“It was part of my true form. It shows whenever I feel pleasure like this or true anger,” Cas explained.

“Oh.. okay..” you nodded and Cas pulled you into his arms.

“I’m really sorry, it won’t happen again,” Cas said and kissed your temple.

“No it’s okay.. I will get used to it, I promise,” you smiled and pressed a kiss onto his lips before pulling your blanket over the two of you and cuddling up against Cas, closing your eyes, ready to sleep.


	6. Happy New Year

Today was an ordinary day- almost, it was New Year’s Eve. Which to be honest never really was a huge deal for me, although, thinking about it now- it kind of is a big deal, I mean for a hunter anyways. Hunters could die any minute of any day at any time, and although that was true for everyone, it seemed especially true for us. And although my best friends, the Winchesters didn’t necessarily celebrate every holiday, like Halloween- they celebrated New Year’s, and I was actually glad to be celebrating it this year, and apparently, according to Dean, “We’re going all-out this year! Everything Y/N! Booze- Games- and Strippers!” Dean said excitedly.

“Yeah, no strippers Dean, I mean no one’s getting married, and it’s only New Year’s.” Sam said trying not to encourage him.

“Do you have to have strippers only when someone’s getting married Sammy? I don’t think so!” He said in a sing-song voice pinching Sam’s cheek to try and lighten the mood.

The rest of the day was spent prepping food, and decorating. Dean went out to get booze, and came back with what I’m pretty sure was most of the store. 

“Did you get enough?” I asked grabbing one of the boxes he was carrying. 

“Oh, there’s more out in the car,” he grinned. Sam walked by me carrying some balloons,

“We should call dibs on not having to clean the bathrooms tomorrow,” he whispered to me and I giggled.

“Hello, Sam, Dean, Y/N.” a voice said from somewhere behind me.

“I understand we are celebrating?” I spun around to see Castiel standing there. His trench coat hanging off his body in a way that made the blood pump faster through my veins.

“Hey, Cas!” I said, perhaps a little over-enthusiastically. 

“Cas! You’re here, finally!” Dean said coming in with his last box, or so you hoped.

“Help me set some of this up, will ya?” Dean said to Cas, “We don’t have very long before everyone else gets here. Chop, chop on those decorations, Sammy!” Dean tossed in.

I went back to the kitchen to mix something together, my heart dropped a little watching Cas’ figure turn the corner. I thought I caught him shoot me a glance, but surely it was just my imagination.

If I was honest, I’ve been crushing a little on the angel for a while now. Since the very first time I saw him, I felt like wrapping my arms around him and keeping him safe, even though he was an angel, and could protect himself. Through the years, it had just become ‘worse’. I had watched him go through his hardest phases, watched him fight against his brothers and sisters, watched him putting himself in danger for us, watched him getting torn from the inside to the outside by leviathans, and watched him go to purgatory. I’ve been there for him and supported him when he was human and no one else would, not even Sam, who wasn’t really Sam at the time, nor Dean, wanted to help.

You could say that the angel and I had some history together. And somehow feelings built up during the years. Of course it was something stupid, Castiel was an angel of the lord after all, but I couldn’t just shove my feelings aside and It just never worked out, it was never the right time. Another fact was that Castiel would probably never feel the same way for me or even feel at all for me. Castiel had come closer to the terms of humans and their feelings, especially after being a human himself, so I guess maybe there was a possibility there. But still, I doubted everything.

If I was being honest, I hated that there were people coming over. We never celebrated anything so why do it now? I prefered only having Sam, Dean and Cas around but you couldn’t always get what you want.

Currently I found myself mixing some drinks together, getting some red cups out and some plates, tonight we were having a roast, with of course, black eyed peas- apparently it was tradition that if you ate black eyed peas on New Year’s Eve then it would bring good luck in the new year.

Sam had made the roast, I made the black eyed peas with the help of his instructions. I was still thinking about Cas when the timer went off on the oven and began beeping annoyingly, pulling me out of my thoughts-

“Would you please shut that racket off?” A new voice said from my left, and I opened the oven, making the beeping stop. I looked over to see who it was and of course- it was Balthazar, always complaining with this one.

“Hey Balthazar, what’s up?” I said, trying to make simple conversation to do something rather than just be bored.

“Not much, thought I’d drop by for the party, but it seems as though I’m a bit too early?” Balthazar said questioningly, looking around to see everyone busy setting up.

“Yeah, although- we could really use your help!” I said hopingly, looking up at him, while taking the roast out of the oven with the oven mitts you got out of the cupboard.

“Ehhhh- I’m not really the ‘helpful’ type. You seem like you guys got this.” Balthazar said, making an excuse, as always.

Although I couldn’t blame him, if I were in his position, being a ‘guest’ then I probably wouldn’t help either, or maybe I would seeing as I am a nice person, but today, I just wasn’t feeling it. I just wanted to get this whole thing over with- maybe drink my feelings for Cas away, once and for all- even though that seemed nearly impossible.

One by one the guests started arriving. I had been stuck in the kitchen putting finishing touches on some things. As much as I was dreading having to mingle with so many people at once, the sound of music and laughter coming from the other room had me wishing I was out there. If for no other reason than to see Cas… I sighed and tried to reach a bowl on the top shelf for the last bag of chips. Why did cupboards have to be so damn high!?

“Need a hand there, darlin’?” someone asked from the doorway, I knew the voice instantly.

“Benny! I’m so happy you came! And yeah,” I replied, “We vertically challenged people need all the help we can get.” 

He laughed, and sauntered over, pulling the bowl down easily, and handed it to me. “So, you ever goin’ to get out of this kitchen and join the party?” Benny asked.

“As soon as I carry the rest of this out,” I motioned to the seemingly endless stream of bowls and plates on the counter, “Then I am ready for some alcohol.” I said excited by the idea.

“Well, allow me to help,” he said grabbing a good portion of the food, and heading out the door. I grabbed the rest, and dashed after him.

Everyone was kind of spread out in the other room, Dean was talking to Cas over by the stereo, and of course my eyes were drawn their first. I could pick that trench coat out in a second on a mural-sized Where’s Waldo poster. I stared apparently a little too long, not keeping up with my surroundings, suddenly hitting something solid. 

“Whoa, there, little lady!” Gabriel exclaimed, as I felt the blood rush to my cheeks from embarrassment. 

He looked over at what had been keeping me in my own little world. 

“Hmmm, between you and me, I think you could do better than my little brother.” Gabriel said pointedly.

“I wasn’t-” I tried to defend myself-

“You can’t trick a trickster, sweet cheeks,” he interrupted, winking at me. 

“Ooooh, mini tacos!” He was gone, apparently mini tacos are very important…

I walked over and set everything on the table, quickly, I made my way to the booze, and poured a large amount of whiskey into a cup. If I was going to get through this night, I needed to be basically comatose- which might take a while… You mentally sighed.

I flitted around the room, after a few more beverages were in me. I talked to Charlie for a little bit about some new video games coming out, but then Kevin came over and basically took over the conversation, Charlie and him having a bit more knowledge about that kind of stuff and I was just a bit too far gone to keep up with that conversation. Benny and I had a short talk about the best cajun places we had eaten at, but then Dean stole him away to show him something or other in the bunker. His green eyes flashed back at me, “You, ok, kiddo?” 

I nodded, and walked over throwing myself onto the couch, fresh drink in hand. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, so I guess it was a good party. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder.

“How are you doing, Y/N?” Sam asked, slight concern in his voice. I looked up at him, his long hair hanging in his face. 

“I’m great,” I said a bit sarcastically, holding up my glass shakily.

Sam shook his head. “Well, be on the lookout,” he smiled, chuckling a bit, “Gabriel is trying to get a game of spin the bottle or something going.” Sam said suggestively.

I groaned, and stood up. “Why can’t we have any normal friends?”

“Not possible,” he laughed, and walked over to Dean, who saw me looking in his direction. He waved, and I waved back, giving him a weak smile.

Looking around, I noticed Cas wasn’t anywhere in the room. I mistakenly made eye contact with Gabriel and Balthazar, who were scanning the festivities, like sharks looking for chum. Suddenly over-my-head computer talk didn’t seem so bad. Where the hell did Charlie and Kevin go? I searched for them frantically, and grabbed a bottle of tequila off the table as I ran past it. “Happy New Year to me,” I mumbled under my breath. At least Sam and I had gotten Dean to nix the strippers.

Normally I knew when to stop, but it didn’t seem like that today, I started feeling really dizzy and kind of sick and just needed to get out. Of course I couldn’t go alone, so I reached out to the next person passing me.

“Hey, I don’t feel good would you mind going out with me?” I asked not even paying attention to who I was talking to.

“Of course, Y/N,” Castiel said and my head shot up, the whole room spinning before I focussed on the angel. How out of everyone in this room could I reach out to him? But there was no turning back since Castiel already had his hand rested on my back and gently guided me outside.

Once the cold air hit my face, I felt even worse and could barely move to a pit of grass to empty my stomach on it. Castiel reached for my hair and held it back while he calmingly rubbed my back. After nothing came out anymore, I raised up to my feet and smiled a little at him.

“Thanks Cas,” I said and he nodded while snapping his fingers, a bottle of water and some peppermint bubble gum appearing. He reached both of them to me and I first cleaned my mouth with water, drinking some after and then shoving a bubble gum into my mouth.

“Would you like to stay outside for a bit?” Castiel asked you and you nodded before the two of us sat down on the hood of someone’s car, not caring who’s it was. Neither Cas nor me said anything, but it was a comfortable silence somehow after everything, which I was grateful for.

Cas and me always had this sort of relationship where we never necessarily had to talk to each other, we sort of just understood one another. My shivering didn’t go unnoticed by Castiel though, he shoved his trench coat off his shoulders and placed it over mine.

“Thanks,” I smiled shyly at him before cuddling into his trench coat. Even though it didn’t help much with the being cold…

Castiel hesitated at first but then decided to wrap his arms around me and pulling me closer, I believe I blushed but didn’t really know for sure as I leaned into the hug, sudden warm flooding through my body. Maybe it was just because of that fact that it was Castiel, but you couldn’t care less right now.

Suddenly we heard people shouting the countdown “10..9..8..7..6..5..”. I glanced up, looking around to see who was shouting, and apparently everyone else had decided to come outside and it looked like they were setting up fireworks to celebrate, but luckily, they hadn’t seemed to have noticed us just yet, I looked back at Cas, who was looking right back at me.

“4..3..2..1!!! Happy New Year!” Everyone shouted, except for you and Cas, and then suddenly fireworks went off. But Castiel and I kept staring at each other, not bothering to pay attention to anything else but us, before I crashed my lips against his. Why not start this year with a disaster? But to my shock, Castiel returned the kiss immediately. Pulling his hand up to cup my cheek as he kissed me softly, lips pushing back against mine.

“Oh so you’re enjoying the show without us? Rude!” The voice of Dean made us jump apart and I smiled shyly at Dean, blushing at the fact of what he had just seen.

“Happy New Year, Y/N,” Castiel’s voice brought my glance back to him as he whispered in my ear.

“Happy New Year, Cas,” I smiled at him before he kissed me once again, reaching for my hand to intertwine our fingers, holding eachothers hands.

Maybe this new year wouldn’t be so bad after all…


	7. I'll Watch Over You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING Self-harm, blood mention, TRIGGER WARNING Suicidal thoughts, self doubts

You sat in the library, watching Sam and Dean pack all the stuff up for their next hunt.

“Can’t I just come with you?” you asked as Dean passed you.

“We’ve talked about this already. We want you save and think it’s better if you’d stay here for a while,” Dean simply said before heading into his room to grab some other things.

“Sam, please,” you put on your puppy dogs as Sam glanced over at you.

“You heard what Dean said. Believe me, we only want the best for you,” Sam gave you one of his half smiles but you just sighed. Of course, the best for you. If they wanted the best for you, they would take you with them.

“Alright Sammy, let’s head out. We’ll be back in about two days, if not call Cas, love you sweetheart,” Dean said and pressed a kiss to your head, but you didn’t reply. Sam gave you a quick hug but you also didn’t return this one. Dean simply sighed at your behaviour but just left, while Sam glanced at you one more time, some sort of guilt in his eyes.

As you head the front door shut, the first tear escaped your eye. Ever since the last hunt they acted like this. Only because some demon took advantage of your hair and gripped it tightly, pulling you back and throwing you against a wall, yes throwing. You had come home badly injured and ever since then Dean started discussing every time you wanted to go on a hunt with them.

It was the hunters life so why did he overreact so much? You shook your head and wiped away the tear only that it wasn’t really effective since there were more tears rolling down now.

Why didn’t he just let you go on a hunt with them? You could take care of yourself. You knew how to defend yourself it was just this one time that something went wrong. Only this one time.

Didn’t he trust you anymore? Didn’t THEY trust you anymore? Of course would mess this up with them. You messed everything up. Sam, Dean and Cas were the only ones you had left. Your family abandoned you after they found out about your mental health. Nothing to expect from your family in a situation like this.

It was a cold winter when Sam found you sitting outside in only a shirt and some thin pants. You were freezing like hell and probably freezing to death if he wouldn’t have taken you with him. Even though you wouldn’t mind if your life just ended. You thought about, even tried killing yourself. Sometimes it was the only sight you had. The thing that seemed right to do. But something always came in between your plans and you were still there. Still alive. Still suffering.

Whatever you did was a mistake. You were useless. They didn’t need you and not taking you with them on hunts just proved it to you. You were wondering how much longer it would take until they threw you out. Until they told you they had enough of your shit and just wanted you to leave.

You felt a familiar tickling in your fingers. Something you always felt in situations like that. You rose from your seat and walked down into your room, crawling underneath your bed to get a small box out. With shaky hands you opened up the box and grabbed a sharp silver blade out of it. It rested in your hand while you pulled up the sleeve of your sweater, revealing all the scars that already formed on there. You didn’t even notice you stopped crying. Well, you mostly did. But mostly because you started feeling nothing when you cut. And therefore you harmed yourself. To feel anything. The sharp metal cut deep into your skin before blood started to form a line. And once again you placed the blade against your skin and cut. And again and again. Your arm was completely red already, the blood dripping onto your bed.

“Y/N?” you suddenly heard a deep voice say. Fast you hid your arm and the blade behind your back and sat on the blood covered bed parts.

“C-Cas? What are you doing here?” you asked completely in shock.

“Dean told me to check up on you,” he answered and walked over to you, his eyes almost drilling into your soul.

“Oh,” you nodded and hoped he would just disappear. He did as he was told and could leave now. But he didn’t.

“Are you alright?” he asked you, his blue eyes searching for something.

“Yes Cas. I’d just like to be alone..” you mumbled. Well it wasn’t completely a lie.

“No you’re not. I can feel that you’re hurting, Y/N. Show me your arm,” he ordered, even though his voice staid soft. For a moment you hesitated, but you knew there was no sense in hiding it since he wouldn’t leave until you showed him. So you slowly pulled your arm from behind your back and showed it to him, avoiding any eye contact. 

“What did you do?” Castiel asked. That was it. Now he wouldn’t think the same about you anymore. He would judge you and look at you in disgust like everyone else, he would leave you. It was only a few seconds until he would leave. Tears were streaming down your face once again. You felt a lot for the angel. Things you shouldn’t feel. Not only because he was an angel, but because you were you. Nobody would like someone like you. But instead of leaving, Castiel healed he wounds and pulled you into his arms afterwards. You didn’t even know Cas knew how to handle situations like that.

Castiel held you while you cried your eyes out. He didn’t say anything, he just held you until you stopped crying.

“Why?” he finally asked.

“Because I’m worthless, Cas. Sam and Dean don’t need me, you don’t need me, nobody does. I’m only standing in everybody’s way and Sam and Dean are probably already making plans on throwing me out. They probably hate me. You probably hate me, I mean if I saw myself like that I’d hate me. I’d be disgusted. I’d-” but before you could continue talking Castiel pressed his lips against yours. You were actually surprised by his move but slowly returned the kiss before Castiel pulled away.

“None of this is true, Y/N. They are seriously just really worried about you. You have become family to them, like a sister and they have lost a lot of people. A lot of family. They don’t want to lose you too,” Castiel told.

“They can’t lock me up here though!” you protested.

“It is for your own good. Once they feel save taking you with them again, they will. Until then I will watch over you.


	8. Not A Coincidence

It has been more than a year since Castiel saved you from some weird creature called Shtriga. It wanted to suck your life force, but however the angel came just in time to save you. It didn’t matter how many times you told him that you would be fine, he insisted to take you to two of his friends. Sam and Dean Winchester.

At first they were sceptical and didn’t really want to let you live with them in the bunker, but it seemed as if Castiel really begged so they would let you stay. One day you overheard a conversation about Castiel telling them that he has been watching you all your life and he couldn’t put you at any risk anymore.

Funny, since you’ve become a hunter now.

The Winchesters and Castiel quickly became family to you. A family you never had. Your parents had kicked you out when you were a teen. Until now you didn’t know why, but you didn’t care anymore. Everything you asked and wished for was here at the bunker.

You were sitting in the library, scrolling through Sam’s laptop and eating chips as you saw the angel entering the bunker. He looked kind of confused and seemed like he was lost in his thought.

“Hey Cassie, what’s up?” You asked and were surprised when the angel jumped in shock.

“Oh, hello Y/N,” Castiel said and walked over to you.

“What’s on your mind, little bee?” You asked him as his looks still didn’t change.

“What does a girl like?” Castiel asked and then looked at you.

“A girl? Wow Cas, tell me everything. What do you want to know?” You smiled widely and patted the chair next to you so Cas would sit down.

“I met her a few days ago when I took a walk. She is a beautiful woman with a pure soul. I asked her out on a date, but now I don’t know what to do,” he told.

“Alright first thing, every woman is different so I can only tell you about the things that I would like if a guy asked me out on a date or something,” you said and Cas nodded.

“Alright, I don’t know if you decided for a place and activity yet, but people like to go out to eat, which would be kind of a problem since you’re an angel, you could go to the movies even though I’d suggest you not to go. Bowling could be a fun activity, but if she is a bad loser she will be pretty upset, unless you let her win, but you shouldn’t make it that obvious then. There is an amusement park not far from here, which would also be fun or you could simply take her to the park again, have a walk, a picnic. Just those simple things,” you told Cas and you felt kind of sorry for him. It seemed too much for him, but he politely listened.

“I might think about the bowling option,” Castiel said and then went silent to listen for more tips.

“Even if she insists on paying something, you pay. Do it, it will get you some plus points. Be yourself, don’t act like someone you’re not. Try not to be nervous, if she didn’t want to go on a date with you, she would have said no when you asked her.   
Also you should maybe dress up differently than this,” you said and motioned to his trenchcoat.

“Is something wrong with my trenchcoat?” Castiel asked as he tilted his head.

“No, nothing is wrong with it, but it’s not the best outfit to go bowling. We can ask Dean and see if he has some other nice clothes for you,” you said and he nodded again.

“Ask her questions and listen to her, just be attentive and that is how you win a girl’s heart!”

you gave him a reassuring smile and Cas only nodded again before you got up and dragged him to Dean’s room.

“Hey Dean, dress him up so he looks nice to go out for bowling,” you told him and Dean simply smirked before pulling Cas into his room.

Good ten minutes later and Castiel came out of the room, he looked so different and if it was you, you’d prefer the trenchcoat look.

“Looks great Cas, now you better tell her you’re going bowling before she turns up all fancy,” you told him and Cas simply nodded.

~~~

It felt great to have to bunker for yourself. Dean and Sam were out in a bar, they asked you if you wanted to go with them but you declined the offer and Cas was still on his date.

You were sitting on the couch in some sweatpants and a way too big shirt and watched a movie. Normally you wouldn’t let yourself look like this when the boys were around, but since none of them planned to be back for at least two hours, you were good to go.

The more surprising it was when the front door opened and you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Your hand reached underneath the pillow, grabbing the gun that was hidden there so you could defend yourself if it was an intruder.

But instead it was Castiel and he looked sadder than you’ve ever seen him.

“What are you doing here already?” You asked him when he was close enough.

“She turned up with another man and said she’d rather spend time with him because I was weird and boring,” Castiel said, avoiding to look at you.

“She did what?! She doesn’t even know what she’s missing out on, come join me, let’s watch some movies and I’ll give you cuddles to make you feel better, sounds good?” You asked him with a smile and Cas nodded before he joined you on the couch and you wrapped your arms around him.

Eventually Castiel laid down and rested his head on your lap and talked his heart out, actually he said everything that was on his mind while you ran your fingers through his hairs. It was nice to just sit here with Cas, listening to what’s on his mind and not even paying attention to the movie you were watching.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t feel attracted to Cas. You’ve felt like this for a while now and if you were honest, it hurt knowing he wanted to go out with another girl.

“Thanks for listening to me,” Castiel said as he finished talking.

“That’s what family is there for,” you said and smiled kindly at your angel. Not your angel.

“It is more than family,” Castiel said and you furrowed your eyebrows, not exactly knowing what he meant.

His next move caught you by surprise. Cas lifted himself up and pressed his lips to yours. It was as if he read your thoughts from just a few moments ago.

“I do not think it was coincidence that the date didn’t work out,” Castiel whispered against your lips.


	9. Under The Mistletoe

It was Christmas, your favourite time of the year. But living with Sam and Dean wasn’t as easy as you first thought. They never thought much of days like Christmas or even Halloween, a day you loved just as much, maybe a little less than Christmas. And of course you would have to suffer from that as well.

At least you convinced them to put away their work for at least for today and have a day off. It took some puppy eyes and begging but finally they gave in. More likely Dean gave in because Sam was actually happy to take a break. Even though the boys told you not to, you decided to decorate the bunker.

Since you were out of food and you suggested to cook something nice for today, Sam and Dean decided to go on a supply hunt. That would be all the time you got to decorate the bunker and release the Christmas spirit - not that much.

You rushed into your room and crawled under your bed to grab a few boxes with decoration and a few Christmas CDs. It was hard carrying them down into the main hall but once you reached it you smiled widely and put a CD in a music player, blasting ‘All I Want for Christmas’ loudly. You sang along and started unpacking the decoration.

“(YN)?”

You turned around to see Castiel standing in the doorway. The angel had a confused expression on his face - confusion with a mixture of curiousity.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

You beamed and held up a box of red and green bulbs. “Christmas decorating!” you crowed proudly. “Do you wanna help?” you asked him, getting to your feet.

“Uh, no, that’s fine. I’m okay. I’ll just watch.” Castiel backed away as if he were scared of the Christmas decorations.

You shook your head. “Oh, no, you won’t. I’m not letting you get away without having the full Christmas experience.”

Setting down the box of Christmas bulbs, you put your hands on your hips and, quickly, striding across the room, grabbed the angel’s hand and pulled him towards the tree (set up by courtesy of the Winchester brothers since you were too short and too petite to do it yourself).

“Sam and Dean aren’t having the full Christmas experience,” Castiel complained as he let you drag him forward.

“Oh, they will. Just as soon as they come back,” you said determinedly. “Now, I am going to be cooking a full Christmas dinner for the three of you, as well as decorating and wrapping my presents for you boys, so you are going to help me. Okay?”

“Okay,” the angel meekly said.

It took a while for Castiel to get the notion of not only putting bulbs on the tree, but also making sure that the same colours went in different places, but he finally got the hang of it. You went to put on a new CD and by the time you came back, the tree was complete.

You narrowed your eyes. “Castiel, what did you do?”

The angel threw his hands up in the air and looked innocent. Well, except for that gleam in his eyes.

“Nothing?” he asked.

“You totally just used your angel powers to finish the tree while I was gone, didn’t you?” you asked.

“Do you want me to undo it?” Castiel asked innocently, his fingers in the position of being ready to snap and remove all his “work.”

“No, it’s okay,” you said. Castiel looked pleased.

“But there’s still tinsel and baking and Christmas cooking and decorating the rest of the house,” you added quickly.

The angel’s face fell.

“How are we supposed to do all of that?” Castiel tilted his head.

“Don’t worry, we’ll finish off the decorating part first and get to the baking and cooking afterwards!” you smiled at him while taking out some holiday lights.

“Let’s put them on the railing of the stairs and on some doorframes if possible,” you said and glanced through the bunker. You had so many ideas but weren’t sure if you would be able to finish it all in time.

Castiel simply agreed with your ideas and you were glad he helped you. Otherwise you wouldn’t even be done with the bulbs yet. On your walk upstairs, you tangled some holiday lights into the railing before lighting them up. They shined in red and green colours and it was simply beautiful. Smiling, you hopped down the stairs again before taking some other holiday lights and putting them on doorframes with Castiel’s help.

Soon the bunker lit up in multiple colours, and it sent happiness and warmth through your body.

“Can you help me put the tinsel onto the tree?” you asked and glanced at him with puppy eyes.

“How can I help you?” he asked and you thought for a moment, but then smiled.

“Let me sit on your shoulders so I can reach the top of the tree,” you suggested and Castiel nodded before getting on his knees so you could sit on his shoulders before he stood again. At first, you tried to keep balance while fiddling your fingers in his hair but soon you realized you were safe with him, so you put on the tinsel.

Finally you were done and inspected your masterpiece.

“We did a good job,” you smiled and glanced up at Castiel.

“It’s beautiful,” Castiel agreed and you could swear the corners of his lips moved up as well. As you glanced right above you, you noticed a bunch of mistletoe.

“Cas, we’re standing underneath mistletoe,” you whispered as you turned to him.

“Okay,” he simply said and you saw the confusion on his face.

“You don’t know the meaning of that, do you?” you asked with a small smile on your lips. The angel simply shook his head.

“It means you have to kiss me,” you whisper. Realization hit Castiel and he didn’t seem to know what to do, so you decided to take over.

But just as you leaned in, the front door opened and you quickly moved away from Castiel

“What the hell happened here?” Dean asked as he walked down the stairs.

“Well let’s move on with the baking and cooking part,” you said to save yourself. You patted Castiel’s shoulder to let him know that he could let you down. Castiel stared at you like a deer in the headlights. You patted him again, harder, and he quickly let you down.

“Looks great,” Sam said, coming into the room. He looked a little surprised when he saw Castiel with you. “Cas, were you helping, as well?”

“(YN) says I need to have the full Christmas experience,” Castiel said, a little too quickly.

“It certainly looks like that,” Dean said, grinning. He was grinning a little too widely for your liking.

“Cas, I need all the help I can get, so if you’re going to help…”

“I’m coming,” Castiel said.

“Here are your supplies,” Sam said, holding out several shopping bags. “The turkey is still in the car, so Dean and I will go bring it in now.”

“Okay,” you said. Castiel was standing a little too near to you and you were finding it a little difficult to speak. “We’ll… uh… be in the kitchen.”

You immediately strode in the direction of the named room, Castiel trailing along after you. Once you were there and you had looked inside the bag and got your hands on the very concrete ingredients (instead of a more abstract thought lingering in your mind), you were able to get a better control on your emotions. You took charge right away.

“Okay, Cas, I’m going to get you to start cutting the bread into cubes for the stuffing. Sam,” you said as the brothers walked into the room. “You can get started on cleaning the turkey. Dean, you can start peeling the potatoes.”

“What?” Dean threw up his hands in the air as soon as he helped Sam put the turkey down on the table. “I never signed up for this!”

“And what are you going to do?” Sam shot back. Knowing him, he would have probably spent the rest of the day holed up in his room over some research book. But you had saved him from that horrible fate. ;)

“I, my dear Samuel, am going to chop up the rest of the ingredients for the stuffing as well as making the dessert.”

“Pie?” Dean’s ears perked up immediately at the thought.

“Yes, and some other things as well,” you said mysteriously. You held up a hand as Dean opened his mouth. “You’ll find out later, Mister,” you told him sternly.

You washed your hands and asked Cas to follow you into your room afterwards.

“I need your help wrapping my gifts for Sam and Dean up,” you told as you entered your room and you took out two boxes. One was a little smaller, the other one a little wider.

“What did you get them?” Castiel asked in curiousity.

“I got Sam an old book with some facts about monsters. It’s the first version of it, actually, and, like, really really old. And for Dean I got a chain, it’s nothing like the one Sam gave him once but I couldn’t think of anything else; Dean’s difficult,” you sighed but smiled.

“Do you think Dean would be happy if I got him a copy of the amulet Sam gave him?” Castiel suddenly asked and you glanced at him.

“I thought about this but wasn’t sure.” He became a little insecure.

“Dean will love it,” you smiled at him before getting some wrapping paper and starting to wrap up the presents with Cas’ help.

“(YN)!” you heard Dean yell, probably from the library.

“Coming!” you shouted back and got up after hiding your presents once again.

You rushed into the library and found a desperate Sam and Dean. Wrapping paper was all over the table and it looked like a mess.

“Can you help us?” they asked, both of them putting on puppy eyes.

“Of course,” you laughed before helping them wrap up their presents. Dean started humming to the music playing in the background and you couldn’t help but smile. For not being a fan of Christmas he knew the songs pretty well. Soon the three of you were singing loudly to “Last Christmas.”

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away.

This year, to save me from tears,

I’ll give it to someone special

You sang loudly and then Cas joined the room again.

“Come on Cas! Sing with us!” you laughed, but Cas wasn’t sure of the situation. With a little help of Dean you taught him some lyrics and finally it was the four of you singing.

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

A man undercover but you tore me apart

Oh oh now I’ve found a real love

You’ll never fool me again

You haven’t felt that happy in ages. There were no worries, no one cared about hunting or any supernatural creatures, all you cared about was the four of you. The family that grew together over the years. You weren’t a family of blood but it didn’t matter to you because as long as you were with the Winchesters and Castiel, you felt at home.

You were so busy with singing and having a good time, that you almost forgot the food and it wasn’t much more until it was done. Everyone helped putting the plates down and finally getting the food to the table. For people who usually didn’t celebrate Christmas, they knew pretty well how to celebrate it. Castiel sat down next to you, while Sam and Dean sat down in front of you and everyone put some of the food on their plates.

You fiddled with your fork, waiting for the three men to take bites.

“Is it okay?” you asked nervously, fidgeting, insecurity quickly setting in. You had tried so hard to make this perfect. What if you had messed something up?

“It’s delicious,” Sam told you with such enthusiasm that the rush of relief overwhelmed you for a moment.

“Ohmigod, so good,” Dean mumbled over a mouthful of food. Turning to Castiel, you could see the angel’s eyes popping out.

“I thought you only tasted molecules,” you teased him.

Castiel just shook his head. He chewed slowly and then swallowed.

“I can taste more than just molecules. It’s taken practice, but I can taste it like you now. And, (YN)… I’ve never tasted anything so good.”

You felt tears springing to your eyes. That was silly. This shouldn’t mean so much to you. But it did.

You leaned forward and gave him a one-arm hug. Castiel returned it enthusiastically. The lack of awkwardness for once made you even happier.

Then there was a snap and you quickly pulled back, surprised, to see Dean holding a Christmas cracker, the end in Sam’s hand. Sam laughed when Dean pulled out a pink paper crown.

“Are you really going to wear that?” Sam teased him.

“With pride!” Dean announced. You all laughed as Dean put it on his head and Sam told Dean to hurry up because he wanted to open his.

“(YN)?”

You turned to see Castiel holding out a cracker to you. At first, you were confused what he wanted, but when he grabbed your hand and put it on the cracker, you suddenly understood. Your heart was beating fast and you couldn’t think straight but then Castiel asked, “Shall we pull?” and you did.

Castiel ended up with the cracker and you all laughed when he put his blue tissue crown on his head. You ended up with red and Sam with green.

“To an amazing Christmas and a great new year! I was a little unsure about this whole idea, but I have to say, (YN) did a really great job,” Dean smiled at you, holding out his glass.

“To Christmas,” you all echoed and clinked glasses.

“To (YN),” Castiel said softly. Dean and Sam agree and you clinked glasses again, your fingers trembling a little.

After talking a little more, it was time for your Christmas treats (brownies and cookies and so forth) and, of course, the pie. While Dean rushed to grab the pie, you brought the rest of the desserts to the table. Everyone grabbed something. Again, you checked their faces to see if it was good but you only had to hear their moans to feel satisfied.

Of course, everything was gone faster than you could think of. It actually surprised you how much could fit into Sam and Dean’s, especially Dean’s, stomachs. You already felt full after eating only one slice of pie.

To your surprise, Sam and Dean wanted to clean up the dishes all by themselves. Their reason was that you already did so much for them so they would actually finally get to repay you. Instead, you brought all of the presents to the Christmas tree, Castiel helping you of course. It seemed like he didn’t want to be further away from you than just a few steps.

“Alright, who wants their gifts?” Dean asked loudly while drying off his hands.

“Me!” you answered, maybe a little too excited, but the boys only giggled before you settled down in front of the Christmas tree. First of all, you grabbed your presents and handed them to each of the boys.

Dean unwrapped his at first, he took the necklace into his hand and inspected it carefully; you were clearly worried until the corners of his lips moved upwards. He put it on and leaned over to hug you.

“Thank you, I love it.” Dean smiled at you.

Next one was Sam. He was carefully unwrapping his gift and his eyes widened as he saw what was in it.

“This is the original one, the first edition, where did you get this?” he asked completely shocked.

“I’ve got my ways,” you shrugged and smiled before Sam pulled you into a hug. As you glanced at Castiel, he was confused. He held his present in his hand and it was clear to see he wasn’t sure about it.

“Come on, open it up,” you smiled at him and finally he nodded. He took his time unwrapping it but when he did a smile spread across his face. You actually got him some comfortable clothes, how could he stay in his formal clothes all the time? You also got him shower gel, you loved the smell of it and knew you would go crazy smelling it on him, but that would stay your little secret.

“Thank you, (YN),” Cas smiled and pulled you into a hug. Every hug gave you warmth and you wished every day would be like that.

You loved Sam’s, Cas’ and Dean’s gifts. Sam gave you a wellness voucher with a small letter saying that you should relax a little more and take some time off. Dean gave you one of his shirts, actually your favourite one of his shirts, he knew you always wanted it but he said you’d have to buy it for yourself. But Castiel nearly topped everything. He snapped his fingers and a giant teddy bear appeared. It reached to your stomach. And with that he had a cuddly blanket, that you could wear.

“I wasn’t sure what you would like and watched some people buy gifts and decided to get this,” Castiel said shyly.

“Thanks Cas, that’s amazing!” you said happily and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss onto his cheek.

But what was better than all of the gifts was probably Dean’s face when he saw the gift Castiel got him. His eyes widened when he saw the samulet. You even believed you saw a tear forming in his eyes but he shrugged it off and pulled the angel into his arms.

“Well, I guess that’s it for our Christmas then,” Dean noted after all the wrapping paper had been pushed off to the side (because of course no one wanted to clean it up right now).

You shook your head. “You got the eggnog right?”

Sam looked amused but he shook his head. “No, we didn’t. I’ll go pour some.”

“And I’ll go help,” Dean said, a little too quickly.

“Okay… umm… I guess we’ll just… wait here then?” you asked.

You shifted. You looked at Castiel out of the corner of your eye. The room had suddenly become a little more awkward.

“(YN)…” Castiel started.

“Yes?” you asked.

Castiel blushed. “I think we’re standing underneath mistletoe.”

You looked up and, sure enough, there was mistletoe above your head. You looked down, feeling your face grow hot very quickly.

“I see that,” you said quietly.

“Do you want me to…?” Castiel started.

You opened your mouth but found you couldn’t speak. You managed to nod.

Castiel moved a little forward. He put his hands on your hips awkwardly. And then, slowly, he leaned in and, ever so slightly, brushed his lips against yours.

“AHA!”

The two of you sprang away to see Sam and Dean standing in the doorway, triumphant looks on their faces.

“I thought I might come back to find you two like this,” Dean gloated.

“We di…” you started but Sam cut you off.

“But of course it was only to be expected.”

“When we planted it right there,” Dean added.

“To make sure,” Sam continued.

“That the two of you would finally resolve that tension between the two of you,” Dean explained.

“Honestly, it was driving us nuts,” Sam groaned.

“Bu… we…” you stammered.

You were stopped by feeling Castiel’s hand on your cheek. When you turned to look at him, you saw his blue eyes were twinkling just the slightest.

“Dean and I moved around so that you would have to move right under that mistletoe,” he said quietly.

You suddenly laughed out loud. You couldn’t help it.

“Well, I hope you’re going to kiss me properly now,” you said.

The rest of the night was spent by eggnog and carolling (bad singing, you had to admit, but it was good fun)… and more mistletoe. Sam and Dean, the bastards, had hung it everywhere. But then Castiel had a way of taking you all around the house. And he kissed you under every single branch of greenery.


	10. Helping Hands

The first time he caught your eye was in the laundry shop during your shift.

He had walked into the shop late at night with what seemed like blood covering his clothes. He had undressed himself down to his boxers before stuffing his clothes into the washer. Then he hesitated. It didn’t seem like he had a lot of money. And indeed it turned out he didn’t.

The strange man walked over to your co-worker and asked him whether there were any spare clothes he could have for free before he had walked over to a water vendor and bought himself a bottle of water.

Afterwards he left, leaving his own clothes in the washer, without any money. You wondered who this man was. You wondered what had happened to him that he could only afford a bottle of water and not even clean clothes. Was this man living on the streets? Rarely any homeless people ever stopped by to ask for some clothes that were left behind. But he seemed to have a story and you really wanted to know what story it was.

Even after the shop closed, you stood at one of the machines and waited for the stranger’s clothes to wash and dry. Of course, that was something you normally did in your work hours. But this time it was different. You didn’t want them to end up with all the other clothes people didn’t want anymore. In the section where the stranger got his ‘new’ clothes from.

Just that you paid this with your own money and would take these clothes home to hopefully return them to the stranger since he didn’t seem too happy about having to leave them behind. Well, that as if you would ever see him again.

The next days you were out of luck. The stranger didn’t show up again and you already lost all hope of ever seeing him again.

But then you were met again with the stranger that gave you no rest. He was just heading for your coworker again but you stepped between them quickly enough.

“Can I help you sir?” you asked politely and were met with the bluest eyes you have ever seen.

“I was… Looking for a white button up shirt I can use for work,” he said. His voice was gruff and sounded sore. He really didn’t seem to have much. It also seemed like he has lost some weight since you last saw him since his features were now different than when you had first seen him. His skin was hanging, exhaustion showing on every feature of his face.

“Come along. I think we should have some spare ones in the back,” you told him before walking with him. You took some extra time finding a shirt in his size to make up a conversation.

“I saw you here the other day and you have left your clothes in one of the washers,” you said while looking through the shirts.

“Yes… I had to. Are they still there?” the man asked.

“No. I brought them to my place because you seemed quite sad to leave them and I didn’t want anyone else to get them before you would be able to,” you explained. For a moment he seemed sad but then he heard that you got his clothes and smiled a little.

“You can give me your address and I’ll bring it over to you after work,” you suggested but now it seemed like he was struggling.

“I… I don’t have a home,” the stranger mumbled.

“You don’t… Well, then come back here when the shop is closing and I’ll take you home with me,” you smiled and finally handed him a shirt. So he, in fact, was homeless. It didn’t seem like he had been homeless for long, though.

“That would be very kind of you,” he smiled thankfully at you as he took the white button up shirt.

“What’s your name by the way?” you asked while walking him back to the entrance.

“It’s Castiel,” he answered.

“Nice to meet you Castiel. I will see you later then,” you said your goodbyes before you could get back to work with a clear mind.

You were happy when he did show up at closing time and walked home with you. The two of you have talked for hours, his clothes not even being the topic anymore. He had told you how he became homeless.

He said you would most likely think he was crazy when he started talking about angels and how he used to be one, but you always believed in the supernatural. And for some reason, everything Castiel said seemed to true. He was trustworthy and one of the nicest people you have ever met. As he told his story you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

He had gone through so much and now he had nothing in return. You couldn’t just let him go back on the streets.

And so you had offered him to live with you. You didn’t have much yourself, but you were ready to invest some more to give him a safe and comfortable place to stay.

For months the two of you had lived together now. He was working, you were working and together you managed to pay for new furniture and decorations as well as a few new clothes for Castiel.

Your bond grew stronger with each day as if it was meant to be. And soon you were proven that it was meant to be.

This evening wasn’t like the others. Usually, when you got home Castiel was there already. He was now as well, but it was different.

The dining table was set up beautifully, candles being the only light in the room.

“I wanted to make you a nice dinner,” Castiel said and startled you a little as he stood behind you, “you know… to thank you for everything. And because we’re good friends.”

“Is that your way of asking me for a date?” you smiled at him after turning around.

“If you want to call it like that, yes,” he smiled before the two of you happily went over to the table.

It didn’t just stay one dinner. Out of one became two out of two became three and you know the deal. One evening Castiel had finally gathered the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend and of course, you said yes.

And that was just the beginning of your shared story with many more things to come. Many more things you would be happy to experience with your wonderful stranger. The man who turned your life around.

The man you loved more than you loved yourself.

Castiel, the fallen angel.

Your fallen angel.


End file.
